Twice in the last week I've looked at a writing buddy and uttered that completely banal and useless observation that has been so often leveled at me: "You're overreacting."
In both cases the woman in question is an utterly rational person. Less prone to mood swings than I am, someone who has shown she can persevere in the face or rejections and setbacks and the other inevitable face slaps of the writing life. But in both cases the person in question was getting very upset - upset to the verge of tears - about some very mild suggestions for rewrites of a scene. Suggestions they requested. Feedback solicited from valued friends. Minor critiques suggested in the mildest of tones.
So why would a statement like "Maybe cut the last paragraph" or "I'd like more decriptions of the setting" send them to tears?
I think they're just tired. We all get so damn tired. Tired of endless rewriting, tweaking it here and there, going back through one more time.....we start to think "Is it getting better or is it just getting different?" And after people seek publication over a span of not just years but decades of course they break down. We're like kids on an eternal car trip. No, we're not there yet.
We don't even know where there is.
And both times, shaken by the fact my friend seemed ready to throw in the towel over such a seemingly minor point I compounded the problem by blurting out "You're overreacting."
Upon reflection, I don't know if it's possible to overreact. We feel what we feel and it's real at the time. A remark that would roll off of us on Tuesday drops us to our knees on Wednesday.
Note to self: Don't ever tell another writer he or she is overreacting. Someday she might say it back to you.
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